Monday, September 7, 2009

I may be quiet, but things are afoot

I've been feeling odd all week. I thought it was jet lag from coming home, but I keep thinking someone - someone that looks like me - is following me.

Whatever shall I do?

I told mom, but she thinks I'm crazy. I talked to Smock but he just said I should drink more cranberry juice. Stupid sock puppet.

Anyway, yesterday, I swear I saw my reflection in a building - only to realize there was no glass in the window panes.

I wonder what's going on?

Friday, August 28, 2009

*I'm just wild about Scarlet...*

Oh, the stories I could tell! The fun! The adventures! The adoration!! I was in Miami, living the life!

I had such a wonderful time galavanting with the family. I need a few days to sleep it off the sun, the nightlife and the puppy. I'm feeling a little - unusual. But then, I'll be on a new adventure soon. Now, do I want to go to sunny California? Or should I make my way to many adventures in San Antonio?

Hmmmmmm.... I think I need to sleep on it. Mom - tell Ezmond to stop trying to eat me!


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Monkeying Around with Scarlet

Let me just begin by saying I LOVE THIS TOWN! I adore Miami! The warmth and love I receive from everyone here melts my monkey heart. Seriously, everywhere I go I receive the star treatment.

Take a look. Here I am with my new make-up artist. By the way, this chica sure knows how to make me blush! ;)

Yesterday Scarlet took me shopping...and I was assaulted by a mall rat.

Believe it or not, I kissed a mall rat...and I liked it!

But not as much as the mango lemonade. OMG! I LOVE the way they make it at Books 'n Books!!

Of course, I hung out with some Cubans...and even smoked one at Deco Drive Cigars. ;)

Here I am at the French guy's gallery checking out the pretty chicas.

After painting the town red with Scarlet, I was we stopped by David's Cafe for a quick fix, a shot of espresso. Looks like that lady needs it more than I do!

On the way to figure drawing class, guess who we ran into? One of the models!! Kendall! He was having an ice cream and I stuck around for a snack and some pointers on posing nude.

We squeezed a lot of fun in one day. Thank you, Scarlet. I will never forget you or Miami! You've both been verrry, verrry good to me!! :)


Friday, July 3, 2009

Livin' La Vida Loca

Hola, Chicos y Chicas. Mi nombre es Rabies, but for the next few weeks you can call me Rabioso.

Talk about culture shock! I landed in Miami yesterday and Scarlet greeted me with hugs and kisses and all kinds of Spanish phrases I didn't understand...but oye, today I know them all, thanks to her kids who totally Cubanized me.

Here I am hangin' with the boy...

...and bonding with the girl and "Snuggles," the puppy.

The first thing Scarlet did after showering me with love and introducing me to her family was steal my pop tarts. Just kidding! She shared half of one with me and introduced me to something better. Check out Scarlet's coconuts...on the TREE, sillies!

Not only does she grow them in her backyard, she also grows these:

Man, I LOVE it here...and they're not just making me say that! ¡Me gusta mucho Miami!

I can't wait to hit South Beach! I'm a little nervous about figure drawing class but Scarlet says not to worry. They've drawn hairier models.

Goodnight, my lovelies, mi amores, mi cielos. You're all bellas, maravillosas, divinas. (You should hear me, I sound like Antonio Banderas now.)

Until next time. Hasta la próxima.

Your Rrrrabioso. ;)

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Today's the day!!!

I feel it-I think it's Thursday (but it's hard to tell sitting in this mailing envelope). Mom was nice enough to put in strawberry pop tarts - but dang, nothing to open the package with. She forgets I need SCISSORS. Scarlet had better have some Cheezits on the ready or I might eat the furniture.

She said something about drawing class - and I know she likes to take pictures so I can't wait to be able to show off Rabies in South Beach, Rabies on the sand, Rabies as nude model.... maybe I'll get a tat? Hmmm. I think a nice skull on my bicep would be good. Or should I go tribal?

Ooh, when will this mail person deliver me?!?!?!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Where do I learn to speak Miamian in 4 easy lessons???

It's official... my next venture into the world of mom's friends will lead me to Miami!! I'm so excited, Mom's buying me an autograph book so all the cool people I meet can sign it.

She's packing me up for travel on Monday and I bet I'll be sitting on the beach next weekend, soaking up the rays and checking out the people. Mom - did you pack my swim trunks, the ones with monkeys on them?? Maybe I'll get to tag along to art class or hang out on Scarlet's desk at work. I hear she has a cool boss!

Wow! It's so nice to have people that want to meet me. I hear Scarlet has kids and a dog, too. And I bet she knows famous people like the Miami Dolphins and the guys from Miami Ink and maybe some cross dressers like there are in my favorite movie of all times, The Birdcage!! Ooh, I'm so excited!!

Hey, mom, could you pack some extra sandwiches this time? And how about the new Hellboy comic, hmmm? It gets boring in those mailing envelopes without the XBox 360...

Saturday, June 20, 2009


I'm ready to hit the road again. You know, find someplace sunny where I can hit the beach, learn to surf and be the coolest monkey on the planet. And mom doesn't make me clean up after the dog. Fireblossom never made me do chores... Ezmond looks like this when I wake up - ready to either eat me or drag me around the yard, burying me to find later. I think. And yes, that's Buddha on his nose. He thinks he's so - ZEN. Dork.

An invitation has been made to warmer climes and I'm waiting for confirmation that I'd be WELCOME to visit with a very cool family in the greater Miami area. Scarlet? Are you out there?


I wonder if I'll get some ink (maybe a TAT of my awesome bff Sean the Sheep), see lots of bikinis and tans, learn to speak Spanish, drink exotic things and basically have a complete BLAST while mom sits at home and works.

Ooh.... I'm sooooo excited!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


I heard mom's voice in the background for a while, but I was covered by this journal and post card and all this LOVE that Fireblossom had put in my envelope. Yep. I was mortified to find that I was shipped all the way across the country in a yellow envelope. With bubble pack - and I couldn't even stomp it!! After all, theres nothing better to kill the time than a nice sheet of bubble wrap. Or to be tied around Ezmond's neck and go for a sprint around the yard, looking for imaginary rodents. He's a freak.... but I missed him.

My Sara was so happy to see me that she kidnapped me to her room and I sit here, on her shelf, watching over her as she sleeps. She said I came home with really happy karma so I must have had fun at Fireblossom's. Well, DUH! All the string cheese a boy could want? Sean the Sheep was a great companion. And Bosco is a cutie pie. It was a good vacation by any stretch of the imagination! I'd go hang with FB and the crew again any day! She's FUNNY!

Whew. I'm going to rest up for a few days (and ride around on the dog) but I'm looking forward to another road trip soon. I wonder where she'll send me next?


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Ummm.... yeah..... Where the HECK am I?

I woke up this morning and there's all this NOISE around me, someone keeps shaking me and I'm hungry. "Hey, is there a way a monkey can get a string cheese?" No answer. Jeez!

I had fun at Fireblossom's but now I need to get home for a little R&R (Ruffles and Ranch dip) and then find a new adventure to begin. I miss my friend Sean the Sheep. And Bosco. Bosco was COOOOOOL.

Any takers?

I would like to request my own room, a Blue Ray and there's no way I'm going someplace without an XBox 360. A monkey has to have his zombie killing.

Wow, I wonder where I am? Probably North Dakota.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

On The Road Again

Hello? It's dark again. That rotten Fireblossom stuffed me in a bag with my journal and I am stuck in here without even any first run movies to watch.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Hangin' Around At Blossom's

Hi, it's me Rabies. I'm at this chick Fireblossom's place. Someone gave her a camera and said just point and shoot, and that's sure what she's been doing. Glad they didn't give her a revolver. As you can see, I have made friends with Sean the Sheep. We both like Wensleydale cheese. I't s like X, kinda.
Here I am trying to give this bimbo a hint that she should try actually opening one of those cookbooks. But it's no use. She'd rather write letters to Pheromone Girl. I mean, let's prioritze here....feeding the guest should come first, am I right? This woman's going to need some training, i can tell.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Monkey Has Landed

Hi, it's Rabies. I have arrived safely at Fireblossom's house. What a dump! There isn't even a jacuzzi or outdoor dinner theater. Well, I suppose I'll make the best of it, if I can ever get this Fireblossom person to cave and call me "Your Emminence." I need a banana. I get leg cramps otherwise. Talk about roughing it! I don't think Michigan is even a state, I think it's like part of Canada. Maybe I should brush up on my French! "Garcon! Le banana, see voo play!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Um... hello?

It's dark in this box. Not sure where I am, but we're moving. I'm on the way to Fireblossom's house to hang out. Mom said there'll be bananas. Good thing, there's nothing to eat in here and I'm getting hungry.

I'd post pictures but - um - it's dark. I'm in a box, you know.



Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The travel bug has bit me - where's the calamine?

I'm ready for another road trip. The adventure to Hood River, Kennewick, Spokane and Yakima was great fun - those three get really silly when they travel! - but I need a little road trip of my own (or is it a box trip!?!?) Favorite part? The car wash. Not so favorite part? Not being allowed in the museum. No pets. Dang.

I should make it to the post office today. That means the next few days will be spent in the back of vans and trucks and maybe even an airplane. Cool! I haven't flown before. Where's I put the dramamine?

When I get to Fireblossom's house, I guess there's a friend or two to meet. I hope I get to hang around with her while she does the stuff she usually does. I'm sure you'll see pictures and hear stories. I'm SOOO excited!

Watch for updates as I make my way east on a new adventure! Thanks for checking out my blog.


Monday, May 4, 2009


My name is Rabies. I'm a stuffed monkey and I like to travel.

My blog will have guest bloggers (since I can't type with these horrendously long arms and no fingers) as I make my way all over the country and the world to visit friends.

Keep an eye out - this should be fun!